When I decided to do something for the cause, I had no idea what I would learn about my fellow Australians in the process.
I have been interested in BDSM for as long as I can remember. I was always the little girl who tied up the little boys or who took pleasure in slapping them into submission. Then I grew to be a woman who understood consent and that not everyone shares my fetish, or wants to be tied down by me – although sometimes I still have trouble believing there are people who don’t – as I grew more mature, I found it increasingly difficult to find the kinds of people I wanted to explore with, and wound up working as a dominatrix to help fulfill my insatiable desires.
When the bush fire tragedy struck my homeland, and indeed my state, I couldn’t just sit there watching the world burn. The type A that I am, I flew into action and started encouraging submissive men to donate. Although I obviously didn’t receive a cent of what they donated, I gave my time in talking to people who normally wouldn’t call a dominatrix as for every $50 they donated, I would talk to them via skype for 10 mins.
These guys were great, but they weren’t my usual callers. My usual clients were older men who had taken a more conservative road in their lives yet still held fantasies of being smacked around by a much younger woman, or manipulated into giving up their money by my sex appeal. Although these games can be fun and are often very financially rewarding, I was taken by surprise when the people who were reaching out weren’t looking for them.
Most of the guys who donated were local guys – guys who I probably pass every day in the street and might not look at twice – they were guys who hadn’t had much luck finding a dominant woman, just as in the past I had had little luck finding a guy who was cool with being tied up and tickled (among other things).
They were guys who were young and good looking, often with egos too big to call a dominatrix or go into a dungeon to meet with one, but who had been fascinated by me, orbiting around me online. Some had bought my erotic audios where I talk about both past sexual experiences and fantasies I have, some had read my erotica online, some just curiously followed me on social media or the blog because they knew I was like them, only they didn’t want to be a client of mine. They weren’t ready for that, or weren’t interested in that. They didn’t know how good it could be.
They were happy to connect like this because it felt like we were both connecting over an important cause to the both of us. This and the fact that their donations were tax deductible probably didn’t hurt.
These guys have been interesting to talk to, because they remind me of myself when I first started exploring BDSM. A bit hopeless, not really knowing their way around or all the proper lingo. They are wide-eyed and want to be led down the rabbit hole, but perhaps found the thought of that a bit daunting.
I am lucky to have been born in such a great city that I can seek these things out, and a number of these guys are from my city, so I imagine that they will also seek out experiences that are rewarding and dynamics – whether personal or professional – where they can be their truest selves, and where they can be truly seen by another human being.
It’s a wonderful world we live in, and I am so happy to be a part of it. I am so happy that this fund raiser has helped me reach new people who I normally don’t get to connect with, and I wish them all the best in their kinky futures whether I am involved or not.
If you or anyone you know are curious or want to connect with an Australian dominatrix via skype while giving to a good cause, check out my fund raiser and donate, lets get in touch!
Victoria Gray 