I was about to log off for the night when a phone call came which I found really difficult. I don’t normally hang up on people, knowing that it is rude and generally speaking, I really enjoy the time I get to talk to my boys.
This guy though, was not one of my boys. He was saying deeply disturbing stuff around some criminal behavior he professed to have. I knew it wasn’t true and that he was just calling to get a rise out of me so I would then abuse him and he would get off on the humiliation of it.
Instead, I just hung up in his ear and signed off like I would have done if he wasn’t calling. It had been a great day otherwise – connecting with a potential new submissive, and a plaything who gets in touch with me every so often.
So I shrugged him off, in a way I knew many other people wouldn’t be able to do. The following day, I had a lunch date with a friend who asked how my ‘side hustle’ (dominatrix work) was going. I told her all was good, well, mostly. Talking about this guy caused me to begin talking about all the unnecessary Internet drama pro dommes have to deal with. My friend stared at me, open mouthed.
“I know you’re a domme, and you get a lot out of this, but it seems like a lot… for just something you do for the love of it!” She told me.
Yes, I charge for my time like any other professional does. But, I love what I do or I wouldn’t do it. There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes, just like other professionals. What I was describing though was ‘not on’ in my friends estimation, and nothing she herself, or many other women dominant or not, would deal with at work.
Last week I wrote about training submissives online, and this is a big part of why I do this, which is what I told her. I love this because of the relationships it creates, even if I am the one carrying a big portion of the emotional and mental work (hence why this is a paid position).
The truth is, I really love what I do. Despite all the difficulties I face, and the challenge of fitting in constant learning and development – which I don’t get paid for – among the content, training, and up-front fetishy phone sex I have for a fee, this gig is something I love!
In what other job could I honestly say I counseled someone through a messy divorce; helped a cross dresser come to terms with who they really were; pushed someone reluctant to go to an event so they could meet more like-minded people; all within the space of a few hours from home in my bra and panties?
What other job could I say I recorded myself talking about my deepest darkest fantasies – and some of my real sexual fantasies – and sell them to people who share those fantasies, thereby making them feel yes, hot and horny, but less alone in their desires which are often incredibly taboo in our culture, meaning they can’t exactly talk to their friends about them.
What other job would I be able to say my colleagues were all smart, sassy, and sexy and I’ve seen their buttholes but don’t think I know their real names?
Okay, so that last one was just cool. But that’s the point, this gig is cool.
I get to meet people who share the same desires as me, I get to push submissives to be their best selves, I get to help people get the most out of their lives in the time they have here.
What could be more rewarding than that?
So, for every time I deal with a weirdo who is trying to upset me, or have to sift through a bunch of DMs from abusive bots, or get the five-hundredth message from someone who is too shy to call but wants my time for free, then I just remember what I am doing here.
I am making my playthings feel seen. I am making the world a better place for other kinky people, however they identify.
That my pervy friends and playthings, is enough for me!
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