If Dommes Were Honest

BDSM is full of fantasy, some peoples fantasies are stupid tho.


Professional dommes do work hard to give our clients the kind of experience they expect from us — the skill set of a good domme is everything from marketing and social media to advanced degrees in psychology — and this is a gig with a lot of emotional labor. I love the work and wouldn’t have it any other way, it is work though.

But, there are funny sides worth sharing. I’ve got a list of some of my favorite BS interactions, what I said and what that meant together for your entertainment. So here goes…

Photo by Jamie Fenn on Unsplash

Them: “I have x fetish, do you have x fetish?”

What I said: “Tell me more about x fetish, that sounds kind of hot…”

What I wanted to say: “That’s a fetish!? I guess it is kind of yummy now you mention it…”


Them: “I see you like x, I too like x” [said on free social media]

What I said: “Sure, give me a call on NiteFlirt, or DM my OnlyFans and let’s talk about it.”

What I wanted to say: “That’s literally not how you start any kind of play or dynamic with a dominatrix, bitch pay me.”


Them: “You remind me of my step daughter.”

What I said: “You should tell her mother you said that to me.”

What I wanted to say: “You don’t have a step daughter, but this is an interesting way to bring up the most popular genre of porn.”

Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash

Them: “I used to talk to you all the time.”

What I said: “Did you? What was your screen name?”

What I wanted to say: “No you didn’t. But I think I know who you did talk to, I’ll check with her.”


Them: “Goddess x does it for free”

What I said: “Go talk to her then.”

What I wanted to say: “You didn’t show up to work for free this morning, and I can’t imagine she was stupid enough to either. ”


Them: “Do you do vanilla?”

What I said: *confused* “What’s vanilla?”

What I wanted to say: “I hope you’re trolling me. VANILLA!?”

Photo by Shifaaz shamoon on Unsplash

Them: “I want to be your pay piggie, I want to be your bitch. I want to buy you things.”

What I said: “Here’s a straightforward way to tribute.”

What I wanted to say: “Here’s a straightforward way to tribute that you can see on all my profiles. I won’t hold my breath though.”


Them: “I know you in vanilla life and I’ll tell everyone about what you do if you don’t give me money/do something for me.”

What I said: “Sounds like blackmail, do you know much about those laws and the kinds of punishments blackmailers face?”

What I wanted to say: “I know I don’t know you — and if I did you can’t out someone who is already out — I want to scare some sense into you before you say this shit to someone who is scared of outing though.”


Originally published on my Medium publication Notes From Your Dominatrix.

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