There’s this bridge between where you are now and where you want to be. You can see the life you want to be living with all the things you have dreamed about. Maybe you wanted to adopt a dog or marry that hot girl from high school.
You know, the girl who would cuckold you and you would secretly love it the whole time. Yeah, that girl.
On this bridge are all the obstacles though. They might present to you as little goblins who will sneak into your car and destroy it before you can complete the journey. They might present as actual people who you have to stop what you’re doing, halting your progress to talk to them and give them what they need. They might represent themselves as issues with money or security or whatever.
All those things, however the present, are your own fears.
I know this because I am constantly hearing about guys fears. I hear from the guys who are debilitated when they’re trying to book their first session with a dominatrix, much less the guys who can’t bring themselves to call me for an over-the-phone session and choose to chat through IM instead because it feels ‘safer’. I speak to the guys who have strong bisexual fantasies for their colleagues, but who wouldn’t even bat their eyelids at the same men for fear of others thinking they’re gay. I even had someone tell me they couldn’t pursue their swinging fantasies with their current partner because they were afraid their children would be taken away from them. I have never heard of this happening, and even know a swinger whose ex bought up her lifestyle choices (she was a swinger/hot wife) in family court, and the magistrate just rolled his eyes and told the guy ‘nice try!’
Whatever these fears present themselves as, they are often just a fear wearing the clothing of the goblin, or the person you know who you have to halt for. They’re just excuses to not go for it.
Not everyone I talk to is living with this sort of fear, some people are genuinely living the lives they want to live, and that’s great for them.
But for those who are not living the lives they want due to their own fears, it can be extremely difficult, and I feel for them.
So how are they going to deal with it?
There are a lot of ways that I suggest to boys depending on their circumstances— after insisting that they own that fear — mostly they are the same suggestions over and over, like that the person should sit down and imagine the realistic worst case scenario and the best case, and judge weather the best is worth risking the worst. Usually being debilitated and kept back from the life they want to lead by the fear is worse than the realistic worst case scenario and the best case scenario – them living the life of their dreams – is so tempting the person decides that they’re better off going for it, rather than sitting here frozen by their fears.
That’s a nice feeling. Knowing that I have helped someone to see something that has been holding them back for sometimes a really long time and giving them that little nudge to give it a go.
That’s significant. That’s awesome.
That’s kind of part of the reason why I do what I do! 😉
I hope these words have helped someone put things in perspective. If you would like to work with me as a one-on-one dominatrix life coach, I take calls all day Monday, Tuesday and Thursday over on NiteFlirt.
Until next time – be bad so I have something to punish you for!
Victoria
x
Victoria Gray 