This is deffo delivered with an amount of tongue-in-cheek, however, I do see how it has worked in my own life – especially lately when I have been dating a bunch of hot as hell alpha bad boys, yum!
A friend arrived home from Germany where he had been slutting it up to the extreme. He had stories of the wonderful people he had met and connected with. Some of those were only brief encounters and some were with people who he talks to still. Both physical and emotional relationships abounded, which was great! The friend, of course, was an openly bisexual man who had taken advantage of Berlin’s open attitudes towards LGBTQI+ relationships.
It was less than six months later though when that same friend was crying into his beer about how he wanted to find a partner, but had found it nearly impossible.
At the time that my friend was crying into his beer, I was having a great time myself with an abundance of men to date, so I had trouble seeing what it was like for him being in a serious (wo)man drought.
Then I went away, and reflected.
At times when I had been open, free and, yes, slutty, were the same times when I had met a bunch of people both good and bad. I had had less trouble getting rid of the bad ones and had just basked in the affections of the good ones. That was until I found people who were well suited to me.
In the past – as now – I have found that the more I am out there dating and playing, the more attractive I feel, and the more attractive you feel, the more confident you are and the more you tend to attract people to you.
On the other side though, when I was in high school mostly, I spent too much time being less available. As if ‘exclusively’ dating a few losers would mean I would kiss a frog and find prince charming, I would put myself out there less and spent more time on the people who seemed less worthwhile. The people who if I had more options, I would overlook. The people who if I had the good guys around – the guys I only seemed to find when I was more available, paradoxically – then I wouldn’t have time for them.
A few days after the beer crying incident, I called up my friend. We often have long chats about sexuality and our lives, and this chat was no different.
Floating my idea about sluttiness, I was met with laughter. My friend told me that he was well aware of this when it was pointed out to him. He remembered his fond memories of Berlin and told me about how after our conversation, he would try to recapture some of those memories.
So he went away and enjoyed himself. He slutted around as much as he needed to to ditch the dead weight and realize who was worthwhile after all.
Six weeks into his quest, he found someone worthwhile and they started dating. At the start, it was them and a few other people, then after some soul searching, he told her that he didn’t mind what she did, he wouldn’t be dating anyone else. He just wanted her.
A week later, she came back and told him the same thing.
That was six months ago and they are still going strong. My friend is in that warm and gooey place people often get into when they’re madly in love. The honeymoon is deffo still going.
So maybe that’s it, in order to meet Mr/Ms/Cutie Right, you gotta put yourself out there, take the good, ditch the bad and have a slutty old time.
If that’s not the answer though, then too bad, because every slut now has an excuse and let no-one take that away!
Now, onto my next date with a super hot alpha….