At a play party recently I was talking to a friend of mine about someone I had been seeing. The guy is a total alpha, in control at work and everywhere. He’s the type of guy who I normally describe to guys on the phone looking for a forced bi fantasy. Tall, strong, sexy, successful.
Yeah, that guy.
So, one night when I had been teasing him but wouldn’t let him come over – I was seeing him the next night and didn’t want to spoil it for myself – he did something that really threw me.
He started begging.
Transforming from the hot always in control alpha guy who I adored to the submissive in a heartbeat, I had to take stock. Is there really such a thing as a dominant man, or are they just men who have not met Victoria Gray yet?
My friend at the play party told me I should tell the alpha I loved it when he begged, that I wanted to see more of this submissive side he had evidently hidden away.
But a part of me was – is – scared. I worry that I will never meet that alpha guy I see in movies. I worry that I will never find my equal and will always be in D/s relationships. I worry that perhaps he doesn’t exist. Or, worse, he does, but every time I meet him I turn him. If my quest was to find equality rather than BDSM, I have failed inside every relationship I have ever had.
I wanted to share my story – and proof that even I have serious indecision – on my blog here for posterity. I am unsure what I will do, and even if perhaps it is better to embrace the D/s that will never go away rather than shy away from it again. I would like this here so I can look back at this moment in time and smile.
Let’s see what happens.
2 thoughts on “Do Men Who Don’t Submit Even Exist?”
It is entirely possible to have an alpha husband but also be your complete submissive. You get the best of both worlds.